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Chasing Dreams

So you find yourself in your 30’s making it in the real world and you wake up one day and realize that life didn’t turn out exactly how you expected it to. I mean it’s ok but “they” didn’t tell you that even if you follow all the rules you won’t make everyone happy and get everything you’ve ever wanted.

Then you remember the dreams you had as a much younger person. Dreams of being a pilot, or a rock star or an artist and you look at all the bullshit you’ve accumulated over the years that require you to stay at that 9 to 5 that fills your week and I ain’t just talking about that antique looking chest from Pottery Barn, no, I mean expectations from your family and peers, responsibilities like car payments and mortgages and for some of us the ultimate… a family. And just like that you start to feel trapped, with little or no options.

The movie “Fight Club” comes to mind when the lead character deals with the malaise and monotony of his unfulfilled life by splitting his personality into two to create Tyler Durden who fire bombs his condo destroying all his sweet Scandinavian press-wood furniture, basically giving him the “license” to follow his dreams despite the obvious breach of contract we all adhere to in polite society.


Too extreme for you? Not for me baby. Now don’t get me wrong… all my personalities are integrated and intact and I LOVE my Coop with it’s Pottery Barn wine cabinet and press-wood Ikea bookcase but I realized that any meaningful change needs some aspect of extreme action otherwise it ain’t gonna take hold… it just ain’t. We’re naturally drawn to what is familiar and comfortable. So if I was going to chase my dreams… I could NOT “half-ass” it and treat it like a hobby, I had to go all out and let my passion replace my comfort.

This all sounds romantic as the protagonist listens to his true inner voice… Carpe Deum and all that plus I gotta admit I enjoy playing the noble hero but walking away from a stable career and from the security of a steady paycheck to follow my passion WAS NOT easy, despite how inspiring it might sound. If you’ve done it before then you know you’re filled with constant self-doubt, I plan and plan and don’t pull the trigger nearly enough because I realize that I’m no longer reading from a script… I’m writing the fucking thing. Life is “live TV” with no second takes and I’m now the star, the producer and the director so if the show bombs I have NO-ONE to point the finger at but me… I get all the glory and ALL the blame.

That my friend is some heavy shit to carry and I think it’s the main reason why so many people don’t quit that miserable job that keeps them in a tiny cubicle for 40 hours a week like a worker-bee in some corporate hive and follow their heart. It IS the reason why I took so long to finally say “fuck it” I’m gonna do it.
I walked away from a promising career in the Ad world, working on brands like Jaguar, Mercedes-Benz, and MCI to become an artist/photographer. Wow… man just writing that was a little emotional… am I crazy? Am I completely insane? Well I might be but for the first time in a long time I feel alive and yeah I know it sounds corny but who the hell cares.

In 2006 I worked my ass off to develop my website, get my name out there through various gallery shows in Red Hook and Chelsea and now my “day job” allows me to travel almost anywhere to get some of the best shots in the world. No I’m not a photojournalist but who would have thought I’d be able to get killer shots of the Sphinx or majestic shots of the Eiffel Tower but that is where my path has lead me and although life is not as comfortable as it was before, I’m following my own rules, making myself happy and I have a sense of purpose that I hope you can see in my shots.

I’ve been blessed with the talent to make it happen and with friends that think like me. To Jane B, who reorganized her life after a painful divorce, packed up and moved to Madrid... alone as an English teacher and to my young comrade Sixz who has been chasing his dream as a musician since very young and helped me to see that passion is the recognition of “what we are wired to do" in this life… I say thank you.

Hoorah for everyone with balls enough to chase the dream… hoorah for me baby.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey, very nice site you have.
Enjoyed your photography, especaily the night shots.

Regards, Ray.
A close friend of your cuz Lester from Leicester. LOL.

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